


For the Ashes

by paladarns



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aah, Childhood Trauma, Cute, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Meteorstuck, and how they got along on the meteor, bro strider - Freeform, davekat - Freeform, idk - Freeform, karkat and dave mutual feelings about who gets to cuddle who, p much davekat, tagged as underage bc rose drinking, trauma i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-17 09:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5862961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paladarns/pseuds/paladarns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can't. But he does and it's all your fault. Selfish brat. You're even blaming yourself for attention. You want to reject every word his throat utters but it's so hard because you can't lie about anything anymore. You always knew there was something messed up with your brain.<br/>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>Dave and Karkat see each other and dave is in denial and karkat just there like, "wot" and dave like no but yes take me jack and karkat like im ready and dkajf;l f</p>
            </blockquote>





	For the Ashes

 You feel the cool air hit your face as your foot slowly touches the ground of the cold rock floor. You see the people you've come to know for the past few months of the game gather in front of you and Rose, and they all seem so... hopeful. At least that's what your hoping they're thinking. You see Terezi, Karkat, Kanaya (who’s already run towards Rose to assist her), Vriska, and that weird juggalo guy tied up. Vriska salutes to you and you acknowledge her with a nod. Clown guy just honks and you ignore him as you go down the line. You wave towards Karkat and he just scowls and crosses his arms tighter across his chest than before. You look at Terezi and she's already sniffing her way towards you, her grin wider than your whole upper body. She snakes her arms around your arms and hugs you tightly; you almost forget to hug her back since your so light headed. She walks back to her place and you turn to Rose, whose hands are folded in Kanaya's and is looking very happy. You nod towards Kanaya and she nods back, giving a warm, motherly smile.

You've settled down and picked a room, far away from, specifically, Karkat's room because he was the one who threatened that if you were in 64 meters of his body, he would make sure to clean his sickle after the bloody mistake called 'Dave'. You are just sitting on the couch when you hear something shuffle behind you. You open your sylladex and pull out your sword to block the incoming sickle. Karkat growls and jumps back to gather acceleration and strength and then pounces. He is aiming for your neck, but misses and slices your arm. You can feel a burn piercing in your skin and a trickle of blood rolling down your forearm. You sigh and hold your hand over the cut. Karkat smirks in pride but soon disappears when he sees you walk away with no context, just a single finger up.

You've strifed with Karkat daily, it's a routine now. Usually Vriska starts the whole match, making everyone gather at the top of the meteor to fight than letting them hide in their rooms. She would make you and someone else fight in the middle of a crappy alchemized ring and let everyone gather around to watch like you were an animal. As much as you found Vriska demanding and Karkat found her infuriating, you had to admit that you learned a lot in the past week. You learned how to manipulate movements using your powers. It pains you so much to use your powers because you know you just made a new you that probably just got sliced by Kanaya's chainsaw because you didn't think fast enough. You're just focused on Karkat's (and the rest of the trolls, because if it was just Karkat, that would be gay) keratin candy corn horns. It's strange to see them in real life. Or death. It's hard to tell when there is so many terrible timelines. 

Vriska's training sessions slowly came to a stop when less people would come to them. She said they'd pick it back up towards the beginning of the next year, which was strange for her to say because she never stops doing things unless something else has caught her mind. 

You wish so hard that you can hang out with Terezi more, but with Vriska around, it's awkward. Mainly because Vriska can never keep her mouth shut about you and Terezi's relationship. Even though it's over. You also wish that every time Terezi tries to touch you and you cringe that she doesn't look so hurt. She's still hurt. There was no one to hang out with on the meteor, so you've decided to hang out in can town for most of your time. 

Maybe the Mayor will understand you better than Karkat who tries to claw your face out every time you ask for toilet paper in the middle of him watching his romance movies. 

* * *

 

You're a little surprised at how hard an acquaintanceship with Karkat hit you. It was strange at first, but you've become comfortable. It starts off with you waking up at who knows what time it is, pouring yourself some terrible coffee, and sitting across from Karkat sitting and reading. You would flip out your phone and have your phone make loud game noises and Karkat would get pissed off. He would curse you out and tell you to turn it off, but you've soon convinced him to try to play the game himself. It was a rage game and Karkat would bang on the table every time he failed but he soon became addicted. After a week of doing the same thing every day, it was a ritual to see Karkat and he'd immediately take your phone to play the game. You'd laugh to yourself because you proved him wrong about it being a "wriggler induced bulge wrenching brain sucker". 

The first time you invited him to Can Town was a year after arriving on the meteor. Seeing how nice Karkat can be towards the Mayor was strangely comforting to watch. You giggled when Karkat hugged the Mayor and pat his head before they both headed out. Karkat flushed red and furrowed his eyebrows as he pushed you out of Can Town. That moment of contact made you flinch. You both separated and went to your rooms, where you fell asleep in bed. 

Karkat, 3 days after the first time he went to can town with you, asked you if you wanted to watch a movie with him. You thought hard about it. Then you said sure, but you made sure to tell him not to make it weird by trying to jump into your arms when it gets to a scary part. He says to not worry about that. 

And you didn't have to. But the only problem was that Karkat was into rom-coms. 38 minutes into Troll Mama Mia and you give him that look that says, "what the hell is this?". He's sitting 5 inches away from you, 5 inches too close. You scoot to the edge of the couch. That's better. He looks at you strange, but turns back to his husk top after about half a second. 

Karkat starts visiting you and ranting about his life and Vriska and Terezi and Gamzee. You actually bond with him  _because_  of Terezi. It's terrible to do but it works. You both rant about her and it makes you feel a little better. He's starting to hold your shoulder when he wants your attention or when he tells you an extravagant story. When you talk about Bro or... Anything depressing at all he will do a small pap. You back away and he looks confused but continues anyways. 

You ask Rose. Rose opens her big beige book of trolls. She flips through pages and pin points one page like she's done it many times. She reads silently for a while and after she says it's, "pure pale flirting". You get disgusted by  _flirting,_ but Rose explains that he just wants to be friends. You are relieved. 

So, you try to do this morail thing back. It's hard to nonchalantly pat another dude without it seeming gay. But you do end up telling him about your life, which ends up with you hiding your face and Karkat rubbing your back. You want to swat his hand away but it's soothing. Bro would punch you if he knew you were crying. 

A few weeks later... Actually, you have no idea if it was a week or not because there is no sun. But, sometime later, Karkat is still the ball of rage and you’re still the douchebag nobody likes. Well, not nobody, at least Karkat sometimes enjoys your presence. You know he's trying to see through you but all he can get is "whiny angsty teen". He knows about your life and you know his, and it helps, but it can only make you feel guilty. You feel constantly scared. You want this random feeling to stop but you know it's not just "random". You often stay in your room and sleep to your heart's consent, which was the only way you got rid of him. But even then, you have a sudden urge to get up in the next hour before he comes back and yells at you. You've suddenly wanted to strife. You (most of the time) hate it, but this time you've convinced yourself that it's good and you want to get off this rock already, so you pass the time. You swing your sword at the strifing bag, that's just mainly a coffee bean bag filled with pillows. You slice the middle open. You stop to stare at the bag, the drawn face with red crayon no longer smiling. It hangs and the meteor almost feels dead silent, other than the quiet sipping of Rose drinking her booze. You can't stand the silence anymore and finally slice the whole bag apart, leaving half of it on the floor. "Wow," Rose says quietly. 

* * *

 

 

 Karkat is banging on your door. He is growing impatient, and this scenario seems all familiar yet totally different. Karkat isn't busting into your business like he did, or if you didn't answer him he'd hurt you. But as aggressive as Karkat is, he does not want to hurt you. That may seem hypocritical since he did slice your arm open that first time you and him met, but now... he's different. He understands you more clearly now and is more gentle towards you. It makes you feel like he thinks your weak. You are snapped out of your thoughts when you see the handle of your door turning. You flash step towards the door before he can open it and you peer down at the small troll. "Popped kernel-tufts are ready," he says, gesturing outside. "Popcorn's ready? Sweet." You slide between Karkat and the doorway and head for the couch. You see that Karkat has already taken the movie out of its case and slid it into his husk top CD... sucker thing. It wasn't normal because all you had to do was place the CD next to the computer and the disk was sucked into the side of it. It creeped you out. Karkat handed you the bowl of popcorn while you studied the case, which was the troll version of Titanic. You snickered and took the bowl from Karkat.

 In the middle of the movie, you found yourself drifting off. Your head was tilting and nodding off, but, you stayed strong. Soon your body slowly slid down sideways onto the couch, where your head almost touched a bony pillow, which you were positive was someone's shoulder. You were soon interrupted by someone saying, "Hiyah!" and a hand and you definitely did not groan about losing the pillow. You come back to your senses as you see Vriska standing there, with a smug face as if she accomplished something. You move away to your side of the couch and she jumps over the back of the couch into the middle. "Whatcha nerds watching now? Is this seriously Titanic? I thought better of you Dave, and, well, not really Karkat. I always knew he was such a slut when it came to this movie. I can't believe that he resisted the urge to watch his god-awful movies when we were in battle! I mean, just look at him-"

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" You say calmly, but you're standing up now, with your arms hanging by your sides. You guess it was just an instinct to stand because you saw Karkat getting upset. You were surprised he didn't start screaming at her when she first came in. Vriska stands up, and gosh she is tall, almost as tall as you. Though she is thin and lanky, she really is intimidating. "Nah, Terezi is sleeping somewhere and I was bored, so I came to give you guys and assignment."

"But you see us watching a movie here!" Karkat finally jumps in.

Vriska mockingly laughs. "Karkat, don't lie to yourself. I have perfect vision and I saw that one of you was sleeping and the other was staring at him. Do you really think that's  _watching a movie?_  Tell me I'm wrong," she crosses her arms. You glance up to Karkat and see his ears go red and his lips twitch. 

Suddenly, Karkat flings himself towards Vriska, but she side steps and he lands in the wall. He rubs his head while Vriska continues, "I thought so," she spat. "Now your assignment is to alchemize the shit out of your stuff and use your weapons to fight your dream you in dream bubbles." Your stomach drops at this. That's not going to be a good idea for you, but you don't tell anyone that. It makes you feel weak and selfish. Just look at Karkat, it's going to be harder for him. Get over yourself. Vriska walks away and you take Karkat's hand to help him up. You hold hands a second too long and the feeling of his fingers linger 4 seconds too long. You rub your hands harshly on your jeans without Karkat noticing and sit back down to the couch.

For the rest of the movie, you glance at Karkat every so often to make sure he actually wasn't staring, and it seems like he's using that tactic too. Awkward.

You hear a knock at your door. It's sometime in the middle of the night. Well, you think. You open your eyes as you hear the door creak open. Karkat, with a blanket wrapped around his whole body with nothing but his face showing and a pillow, shuffles in.

"Bro, you look like a nun," You say, laughing. He gives you a strange look. "Y'know, like a sister?"

"You think I look like Rose?" His face scrunches up, but you vigorously shake your head. "Never mind. What do you want?"

"I can't sleep. Not even my recuperacoon will do anything." He says, just, _inviting_  himself in. He sits his ass on the hard meteor floor. With a look of disgust, he flops down and closes his eyes.

"Whoa dude, what're you doing." You say, staring at his face. It's sparkly, as if he moisturizes it. His eyes are an almond shape and his nose perks up. Yo, what? You weren't just staring at him. Man up a little. 

"I'm sleeping," He says with his eyes still closed. "No, dude, just get up here." You shake his shoulder.

"No! I'd rather be culled a terrible cull, cooked over a fire, and teared apart and eaten by hairy humans!" 

"Yo, stop overreacting, and get on the bed."

You two argue for about 4 more minutes before Karkat finally gives up, which is rare. He climbs in on the other side and gives you a look of anger. 

You watch as Karkat's eyelids get heavy and his face becomes calm. It's strange for him to be quiet. It's also strange how fast he went to sleep; he's been tired for a long time. You don't like that it's quiet now. Usually when it used to be quiet before, you knew that he was either disappointed or he left the house after he made you strife for hours. But, now the quiet is peaceful. It's sets you off-guard, but it's better. You look at Karkat's rested features. The way his cheek bones ore so high and strong, he’s grown in the past 2 years. You kind of want to touch him. I mean, he won't judge you. He's sleeping. 

You lift your pointer finger and slowly place your finger on the side of his face. You slide your finger gently down his cheek and its squishy and soft. Is all troll skin like this? Well, maybe just Karkat, because when you touched Terezi, her skin was rough and callouses spread across the base of her fingers.

You raise your hand and grabbed a piece of hair and rubbed it between your thumb and pointer. It was stringy and course, way opposite of his skin. Your hand explored different pieces of his hair, feeling them between your fingers. Your attention was back at his face and you didn't even notice your hand inching towards his. You felt you finger hit his finger nail, and it was now or never. It was now and hate yourself or never and go to sleep. You could barely decide before you hand plopped down on his. 

"Dave?"

Shit.

You quickly close your eyes and yank your hand away from his.  _Shit, why'd you do that? If Bro knew that you did those things, he'd kill you. That was so stupid and gay! Dumb, dumb, dumb..._

You fake yawn and act like you’re just waking up. "Is it morning?" You ask stupidly. 

"Dave."

"C'mon let’s get some coffee."

"Dave."

"And watch movies."

"Dave!"

You turn your head back at him as you slip out of bed. 

"What were you just doing?"

"Ummm..." You stall as you slowly slip off the bed and hide your face behind the bedside. 

"DAVE."

You stand up quickly and abscond from the room all the way to the bathroom, yelling, "Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit"

You lock yourself in the bathroom and wipe your forehead with the back of your hand. You sigh and slump against the door. You feel a little better since you are away, until you feel buzzing and hear loud thumps banging on the door.

"DAVE OPEN UP WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS."

Talking was  _not_  your thing. 

"Nah, Imma just stay in here."

"Come out here. Now." Karkat's voice get low and raspy, and there's a small shiver that spreads   down your spine.

"Can't we talk, y'know, face to door?"

"Face to face."

"Karkat, why are you making such a big deal-"

"I am not the one making the big deal! I just wanted to talk and you ran away from me! You’re such a child. A fucking cowa-" You hear him physically shut his mouth. You know exactly what he was going to say, but he doesn't. And that's the worst thing he could've done. 

"I'm a what? Say it. Say it directly to my-" You swing the door open, "face." 

Karkat's nose is 2 inches away from yours, and you are steaming. As much as you want to be mad at him, you just can't. You just...

 

don't want to. 

You lick your lips in a fit of anxiety and you hear Karkat take a sharp intake of breath. You both stare at each other for what feels like forever, before you lean back.

"I thought so." You spit and back away. Karkat sighs loudly and crosses his arms. "We need to talk."

"I don't want to talk! I've told you that. I don't want to talk about feelings with you if I haven't even talked them out with myself!" You throw your hands up. 

"Feelings?" You look up at Karkat, a look of nervousness and confusion. Crap, you messed up. 

"Not feelings! I mean, just," You stumble over your words and you're trying to say something but honestly, you have nothing to say. 

"Dave. If you have something to tell me-" 

"No! It's nothing! It isn't! Just, no!" You are screwed. "Stop interrogating me!"

"I'm not! Just tell me already!"

"I have nothing to say!" You yell. That took a lot, considering you have plenty to say  _now_. 

"Well, I have something to say." Karkat says, after a moment of hesitation. He bites his lip and closes his eyes. You almost see blood draw from the indention of his tooth piercing into his lip as he opens his mouth to speak. His mouth is barely open, and his voice is low and breathy.  

 

"I like you.”

 

He can't. But he does and it's all your fault. Selfish brat. You're even blaming yourself for attention. You want to reject every word his throat utters but it's so hard because you can't lie about anything anymore. You always knew there was something messed up with your brain.

And it's the cheesiest piece of shit you've ever heard but you’re not laughing. Your eyes are burning and your chest is pounding and all you can think is: Admit it. 

You can't. You really can't. 

You’re not ready to face the fact that, you like him back. And it's so stupid and you hate yourself for thinking that way. You want to just shut the door in his face and cry and hide from. From him.

But, he's not here. That makes you break a little more. If he was here, standing in Karkat's place, he'd do worse than what Karkat's doing to you now. And you've.

You've never admitted that

you were afraid. You  _are_  afraid of him. And then he's gone. There's just Karkat, with a look a fear. You run your eyes and there is something wet. Tears streaming down your face and your head hurting and your face is hot. You close your eyes and feel arms around your neck, holding you close. You feel nice warmth, and you’re not alone. You're not afraid anymore. You're

Awake. 

* * *

It's been a week. You've been counting. Finally. 

You haven't seen Karkat in a while. But you do hear faint knocks now and then, but you ignore it and act like your sleeping. Rose, Kanaya, Karkat, whoever, can wait. For what? You’re not sure. Things have gotten awkward between you and Karkat, which is probably one of the reasons he's stopped leaving his books everywhere and instead taking them back to his room to read alone. I guess no more reading sexy troll books while everyone is sleeping and flipping out over some of the weird mating rituals. Gotta get that from Rose now. 

You hear a knock. The same soft knock, that you hear almost every other day. Today? You just... felt different. You didn't understand why the day made you feel so different, why you stood up, why you unlocked that door. 

You were expecting a small, grey troll, but instead saw a Terezi. 

She looked at you, a little smile on her face, even though her eyes were sad and low. Before you could react, you felt her arms wrap around your waist and her cheek resting on your chest. She squeezed hard, like she hadn't hugged in a long time. It came to you as a shock. Lasers and fire burned through her arms and into your waist. You slowly placed your hand on her back and just stood there. 

After what felt like an eternity, Terezi finally broke the silence. "Karkles told me everything." Her voice was quiet and raspy, but she continued with the nicknames. 

"Look, Terezi-" You grab her shoulders and pull her back to look at her face. "Nothing happened, ok? Literally all I did was cry about some stupid shit in the past. Then Karkat and I shared a good, tender, brotherly hug like normal dudes do. It was a nice hug, hugged for .0003 seconds. It was so nice, it was like Kanaya and my plush ass fused to make the nicest Dave x Karkat hug. It was beautiful."

You drop your hands and Terezi pulls her arms away from you. Her arms have curled in to her upper body, crossing them. You look up at her face, and she looks normal again. Her eyes are finally seeing the light and her smile is slowly creeping up. She starts laughing, little short laughs. She pushes you, (just a little, like playfully. You’re not fazed) and walks away. 

* * *

 You walk to the commons and immediately go to the coffee machine. Rose had learned how to alchemize it a while ago, and it's shitty and stale, but still fuels you up. You don't process your surroundings until you grab your hot mug and turn around. The hot coffee is burning your tongue as you see that not only is Rose and Kanaya sitting at a table researching and flirting, but you see, Karkat. He's sitting there, with his head in his arms on the table. You see his back slowly move up and down. You can't see his face, it's turned away from you, but you can see that he was also doodling in a book. You watch Kanaya stand up from her seat and to walk over to Karkat. She kneels just enough to be face to face with him and she strokes his hair with her long fingers. You notice she's whispering something to him. After a few moments of her stroking his head, she finally stands up and pats his back. You see his body move, but his head is covered up by Kanaya's body. You’re still sipping the scorching hot drink when Kanaya moves to go back to her seat and you finally see Karkat's face. It looks tired, with deeper bags under his dark eyes than usual. You both stare at each other for a while before you raise your hand and throw a peace sign. He rolls his eyes, scowls, and turns his head away. It takes you a while to see his flipped finger up in the air. 

"Why?" You ask, standing in front of the table. When did you move over here? 

His middle finger is still up when he lifts his head to look at you beneath his lashes. "Really? Why?" He drops his hand and sits his whole body up. "I'll tell you fucking why, you avoid me and everyone else for the past... I don't even know! It felt like an eternity! I know you must be fucking embarrassed and whatnot, but cut us some slack! Has your think pan been seriously damaged from burning all your angsty human bacon? Oh, wait, you were stupid in the first place, you illiterate douche muffin!"

You find yourself sitting across from him, wiping fake spit off your cheek. "Dude, that made no sense, like, at all. That's kind of my thing, making no sense."

"Dave!"

"What?"

"Don’t act like you haven't just avoided everyone, not everything is fine and dandy! You could have just talked to someone if you weren't comfortable. This is my problem with you! When you hide something, you shut people out! The only person that's aloud to do that here is me! And even then, all my problems are out in the air now, so why the fuck hide them??"

"That is so dumb! If I wanted time alone, it's not your business!" You yell, standing up abruptly. Some coffee spilt on the table, but you don't care that your hand is burning. You walk away, chugging the rest of the coffee down, chugging down your feelings. Shit man, your wrecked. 

You are laying on the couch while one foot is stretched down the couch while the other hangs off the side. You are playing loud, annoying games that aren't even that fun, but since you have no one to talk to (you already spent the most of the time in can town that you redecorated it, and the mayor needed time to even process what you did to the city hall) you guess it could kill time. Kill time for 1 more year.

It's easing towards the end of year 2 on this cold ass rock and you have yet to do Vriska's request. As many dream bubbles you've gone through, you hate to be in the same place with the same man who gave you scars, was your hero, and was expected to kill him.

It just doesn't work that way.

You hear muffled patter of feet scuffling up behind the couch before you see a grumpy face pop out. "Can I sit here or do you need more time alone?" Karkat asks sarcastically.

"Karkat, I said I was sorry for being a jerk like, 7 times."

"Look," he gestures at your feet, "We can talk if you let me sit down."

You move your feet and sit upright. He sits down, good 4 inches away from you, but it doesn't bother you.

His face turns towards yours, apparent deep circles under his eyes spread. It used to be brownish red, now it has changed to a purple color. Little freckles spread across his nose and his hair flows down just above his eyebrows. His lips, which you've seen before, are full but this time, chapped and chipped. His mouth moves so his teeth can snag his bottom lip. Once his lip has been let go of captive from his teeth, it is red and chewed out. You can tell it might be a habit for him. He licks his lips, and for once you want to see what they taste like.

Before your brain can go any farther your eyes snap up to Karkat's, who, thankfully, didn't notice your stare session. (Thank god, sunglasses.)

"I don't know what to say." You blurt out.

"Me... me neither." His head hangs and he looks up at you through his lashes.

"I'm sorry."

"The fact of you saying sorry isn't necessary. I don’t fucking understand why your saying sorry? You have every right to be alone. It's not like I'm entitled to how you live your life. You don’t have to talk to me anymore if you feel like that." Karkat lifts his head, looking you in the eyes. Shades. You don't really know.

"Karkat, first, I know that was a guilt trap, but we won't talk about that,” Karkat was starting to protest. "Shh, let me finish. Second, I still want to hang with you. I just don't want to make anything awkward- don't you dare fucking say it wasn't awkward until I made it awkward because you know it was always awkward. Can we just, hang out? Like normal bros do? I don't fucking care if we're morails or not you can touch me all you want- stop laughing- and shoosh me. Just, can we forget that whole thing?"

Karkat looks at you with an awkward smile (you told him not to make it awkward) and says, "Sure. Just, good ol' pals hangin' out." You chuckle and turn away. You don't know why there was a pit in the bottom of your stomach and a sting at your eyes, but you blinked it away and proceeded to ask Karkat if he wanted to watch a movie.

* * *

 

When you look at Karkat, he smiles. He rolls his eyes and his razor teeth disappear behind his lip before he pushes you playfully with his forearm. You won't push him away anymore. When you lean your head on his shoulder during movies, he leans his head back. He's not pushing you away either. 

You're both in Can Town. You look up from your dick graffiti on a random wall in the town, feeling accomplished when you see Karkat. He  _was_  working on a building, but now he's looking at you curiously. You raise an eyebrow, hopefully above your glasses for him to see. 

"Why do you always have your fucking sunglasses on?!" Karkat yells, which isn't surprising since yelling  _is_  his inside voice. You shrug nonchalantly. "I don't know. I'm just really cool like that."

"Yeah, I know, you say that like every goddamn fucking 3 seconds, but I've known you for a year now and I feel like I deserve to see your sight pits." He crosses his arms, using good posture for once. (Who are you to be talking? You have the back of a 1 humped camel. Shut the fuck up.)

"I don't know if I'm ready for that commitment, Karkat. Maybe take me on a date first, pay for it and tell me what to wear. I think I like you better in the green tie. Drive me home and walk me to the front door. Maybe then you'll see my fucking flawless face without the glasses while your kissing me in the rain, with my soaking wet, modest blue dress. This shit is gold, Karkat, get in on this."

Karkat just looks at you. Blank face, the only sound of the air between you two is the slow tapping of Karkat's fingers against the hard rock floor. "Oh my god, fine. I don't usually give in to my weaknesses, but you just looked so cute over there." You reach over and tap Karkat's nose with a finger, and he growls at it.

"Lmao you're like Jade."

"Did you just spell 'l.m.a.o." out loud?"

"Affirmative," You bring your fingers up to your glasses and slip them off. You squint from the blinding white lights and let them adjust. Once your eyes have focused, you see Karkat stiffing up. 

"Woah."

"Yeah, I know I'm a freak, just-"

"Really Dave? You really think you’re a freak? I lived 7 sweeps thinking I was going to get culled for my BLOOD. You have no fucking right to say you’re a freak." He says, plucking your sunglasses out of your fingers and sliding them on his face. 

"What the fuck, how do you even see through these." Karkat looks around numbly, as if he were blinded. You look at the mayor, grab him and hug him tightly. Maybe this next year won't be as bad as you think.

* * *

 

You find it weird. Weird that you like checking out your best bro. The way he picks his nails when he's nervous, or when he chews on his lip so much during movies that when he turns to explain to you his lips are red and raw. 

The way the hairs fading from his head down his neck look as sharp as they look soft. You've also found he's not half as bad looking as you thought before you met him physically. Yes, he's short and skinny, but he's tough as fuck. 

Your both in Can Town again. Karkat is complaining to the Mayor about something while he pats Karkat's hands, soothing them. You chuckle to yourself, watching Karkat’s lips move, yelling loudly. 

Shit man, cut it out. This is getting gay, even though you came to your senses and confirmed that you were bi. Well, if thinking about macking on your troll best friend was counted. Do trolls even have genders? Well of course they do, fuck, do not think about that awkward conversation with Rose. "It was an accident!" You could practically feel her getting flustered even through pesterlog. Jesus fuck, stop thinking about Kanaya. Instead, go to your safe place, Karkat. OK, THAT ISN'T SAFE AT ALL. 

If bro knew-

You bring your hand up to your head, slapping it against your forehead and whispering, "Get out, get out, get out."

Karkat whips his head towards you and has a look on his face as if he's about to slap a bitch. Soon his expression softens and says, "Oh my gog, you scared the living lusus out of me."

"Dude, you knew I was here the whole time, why the hell were you scared." Okay, he's not that tough. 

"You were just so fucking quiet, I thought you left," He says, patting the mayor on the head and turning to you instead.

"Awe baby, you know I would never leave you," You stroke his face and he slaps you hand out of the way. Seriously, cut that gay shit out. This isn't the time or person to do all that. 

"So what are we doing for our New Years?"

"What the fuck is that."

"Well, it's not exactly the end of the year, but it’s the end of a full fucking year on this rock." 

"Um, I'm not exactly sure how a human 'year'", he puts quotations up, "calculates, but I'm going to act like I do and say, 'I don't know.'"

You roll your eyes and flip out your phone to text Rose while Karkat turns back to draw some things with a blue chalk piece, ranting about how you’ve never suggested an idea like that out of all the years you’ve been on this rock. 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: hey rose

TT: Yes, Dave?

TG: so you know its almost the end of the third year on the meteor right

TT: Yes, I know Dave.

TG: so you wanna do anything special

TG: if we do we gotta do it fast because its like, 2 days away

TT: I'm aware, Dave.

TT: How about we all meet up in the commons? That's the best place to throw any parties as of now. I'll set up a memo.

TG: ok

TG: but can you please not invite that weird guy that hangs out in the vents

TG: he fuckin creeps me out

TG: or atleast tie him up

TG: theres an empty fridge in a room somewhere i didnt care about hanging around

TG: maybe someone can put him there

TG: i really dont care where you put him just please dont invite him

TT: I wasn't planning to, Dave. He gives me the "creeps" too.

TT: The heebie-jeebies.

TG: allllll righty

TT: Goodbye, Dave.

TG: peace

You close your phone and immediately feel it start buzzing again and notice Rose must've started the memo. You don't bother answering it.

"Hey Karkat, don't bother reading the memo when you go back to your crab alien laptop thing back in your room. We're going to do some party thing in the commons in 2 days. Get ready," You say, turning back to Karkat, who slowly nods his head at your comment, still focusing hard on his... blue turtle? What the fuck is that?  
You ask him just that.  
"Fuck no, it's a bridge."  
You roll your eyes and flop all over the floor, smudging Karkat's masterpiece.  
"DAVE-"

* * *

 

It's been two days later. The last day on the meteor. 1,095 Earth days passed. You meet Rose in the commons, watching her struggle with a box of decorations with Kanaya following close behind. You've been thinking of things to do at this party, but you completely bombed every idea ever to enter your mind. Since you had no life as a kid on New Year’s, you couldn't recall what you would usually do on New Year’s Eve. You remember staying up until 12:00 online with John, Jade, and Rose once and doing cheers to your computer screen with apple juice in a champagne glass and passing out to sleep before Bro came home and found you raided his special apple juice. You knew if you'd stayed up any longer you'd get some serious new scars.

You had talked to Rose yesterday discussing things normal people would do on New Year’s, and she replied with, "During the times my mother wasn't avoiding me, we would stay up to see the ball drop at 12:00. She always immediately passed out right when it dropped, so normally on New Year’s you share a kiss. I kissed my mom before chugging the rest of her drink down. I, myself, passed out on the floor of my bedroom that day. So, I guess I'm not exactly the person to ask what 'normal people' do on New Year’s."

All you can get from her speech was that you pretty much get drunk and kiss someone once the "ball" drops on Good Morning America.

You rushed towards Rose, grabbing the box before she dropped it and all the champagne glasses broke. Rose was on booze and food duty while you were on "ball drop" duty. You spent the whole day (You're on a meteor in the middle of the space, is there anything such as day?) alchemizing and building a mini ball drop with the mayor. You hadn't seen Karkat at all, but you guessed he was catching up on some sweet Z's, mainly because you told him to because you would be up partying and shit. You set the box down on a nearby table while Rose helped Kanaya lay down a table cover and some weird troll food. You rummaged through the box and pulled out each glass carefully and set aside the party hats and kazoo things in a presentable order. How did Rose even get all these codes to make all this stuff? You honestly don't want to know what weird stuff she hides in her sylladex to make this shit.

After an hour or two (1 hour, 26 minutes, and 34.012 seconds to be exact), you, Rose, and Kanaya managed to set each table with food and party hats before everyone was asked to come. Like always, Terezi and Vriska came to the party first. You noticed a small black figure cradled in Terezi's arms. You gasp so much you almost pass out as you scoop the mayor out of Terezi's arms. Your too busy hugging the Mayor that your almost forget to greet Terezi. You look up at her after a while, Vriska smirking cunningly and Terezi's eyes losing its usual glow. You stand up quickly and wave at Terezi, her smile lighting up again and, like usual, wrapping her arms around your waist and pressing her face to your chest. You return the hug after half a second of hesitation and made sure to hide your cringe. You know it would hurt much more to see Terezi hurt than to get punched in the eye from Vriska, so you avoid both by just hugging her back. You don't bother acknowledging Vriska and walk back to help Rose and Kanaya, leaving the Mayor to sit on the floor with Terezi.

You have the brilliant idea to go check on Karkat after 15 minutes of the party going on. You tell Rose and walk through the quiet halls. Your footsteps echo through the empty alley ways and you slip your hands into your pants pockets as you stroll down to Karkat's room. You see his recognizable room, the door covered with chalk drawings he and you made one day when you both were bored. His door is cracked open, which is strange, but you continue. You feel like one of those stupid actors in those scary movies where your trailing into a territory and about to get eaten by a monster and the watcher is oh-so obviously yelling at you to run. 

You hear a honk and your sword drops from your sylladex. You turn violently as you back into Karkat's room, looking all around you. You hear a honk behind you in Karkat's room and turn. You see Karkat stirring in his sleep, on a pile of horns. You can see his head lift over the side of the pile and his eyes drooping in tiredness. An immediate wave of relief goes over when you notice the honking was just from Karkat's pile. He must be out of that sleep slime, because Karkat only pulled out the pile when at the beginning of the trip no one knew how to create green alien shit that resembled his precious sopor. You still have no idea how Rose alchemized  _that_. You walk over to his sleeping space and nudge him with your shoe as you throw your sword back into your sylladex.

He grumbles something barely audible, but since its quiet you could make out at least, "Don't touch me you piece of grub fuck (insults insults insults, you couldn't make out the rest)." You let out a grunt as a laugh and response and slowly ease yourself on part of the pile that could act as a chair. 

"Dude, the party started like, 20 minutes ago. Come on, you’re going to miss it all."

"Leave me here to die."

"Hey, that wouldn't be nice of me. Let's go, Kanaya made some weird troll food."

Karkat's head pops up at the word food and you smirk. "Good, I'm starving," He says, plopping a hand on your thigh. You freeze.  _What the fuck._  You guess Karkat can't see your crisis while he uses your thigh to push himself up with one hand while the other pushes on the pile. Once Karkat has extracted his hand (which you were thankful for, because his hands felt like they were oozing lava and piercing pains into your veins, killing you, literally, on the inside) you could breathe and stand, automatically going back to your normal cool stance. Karkat must've noticed your little freak out, you may be terrible at hiding it after the fact, because he looks at you in confusion for half a second and turns to lead both of you out the door. 

On the way back to the commons, you and Karkat  _accidentally_  take the long way back and talk the whole time. He asks you what you do on New Year’s and you tell him. You make sure to not intentionally put emphasis on the kiss part. 

* * *

 

You tell Karkat to not cling to you like a baby koala (even though he asks what the hell that is) and tell him to go do his own thing. You immediately regret your decision. You're left to yourself sitting at a table and slipping on a tight party hat that nearly makes you stop air from circulating between your lungs and trachea, but your too distracted. Can you guess by who? You watch Karkat walk over to Kanaya and be greeted via hug and forehead kiss. You internally awe. You see he waves to Rose before he grabs a plate. You wait patiently to have your precious Karkat, but it seems like he’s standing and eating next to Kanaya and Rose. You don't blame him though. You never see Karkat leave the 1/4 of the meteor you and him hang out on and when he does, it's usually because he's going to get coffee. If you were him, you'd want to go see your troll mom as much as possible, too.

But, maybe after 3 minutes without a Karkat, you think you might be going crazy.

You could hang out with Terezi, but it always ends up being awkward between you two, with and without Vriska lurking around on your every move. You get it, you don't want some weirdo kid hanging all up on your BFF ride-or-die bitch either. Actually, you don't care, you’re not  _that_  possessive. You could hang out with the mayor, but Terezi is around. We already went over this. The next best option is Rose and Kanaya, but that would be hypocritical towards Karkat. And you aren’t bothering that weird juggalo guy. You are snapped out of your train of thought when you notice Rose strolling towards you, cup in hand and a smirk on her face.

"Rose, it's not even close to being 12:00 Earth time. Don't waste all the booze now." You complain.

"Don't worry Dave, it's just water. Besides, Vriska won't allow me to drink until midnight," She rolls her eyes, taking a gulp of her "water". "But, she doesn't own me. What are you doing over here alone, Dave?"

You just shrug. Rose looks at you like you just said to her that you made a walrus sing an N Sync song in a day. The look of disbelief. Her eyes meet yours. You can practically hear her in your head, pressing you to spill. You stare back with equal intimidation, hopefully sending her the "No." message. She wins. 

You collapse against the table, still glaring at Rose. God damn, siblings are manipulative pain in the asses. "Fine, I told Karkat to not hang around me and do his thing but now I have no one to talk to," You let out after 3 seconds.

"Well, how long until the ball drops?"

You check your internal clock. You tell her about 15 minutes. (12 minutes and 7.001000045 seconds to be exact.) "Okay, only 15 minutes, Dave. You only have. 15 minutes. Can you handle that?" She asks sarcastically. Mother fucker.

"Hell yeah I can, just you wait, Rose. I can wait so long, Im'ma wait until I'm dead, get up like Dracula, and still be waiting. No fuss or nothing. I'm not a baby, Lalonde. You're  _on_." 

"It's not a competition, Dave. Also, you can't die. You're immortal." Rose chuckles. You stand up and throw the 'I'm watching you' sign and back away, slowly heading towards the nearest bathroom. You slip into the bathroom to take a piss (like any normal person would do) and wash your hands. You turn on the sink and run the cold water over your hands, scrubbing with soap. You turn off the water and pat your hands on your pants even though there's a towel right next to you. But, you're too cool for that. Your reach for the handle when you hear a faint nose. It starts to get louder and more consistent. You grab your sword and open the bathroom door, peaking out into the hallway. It's semi dark, due to the bright artificial lights coming from the commons. You step fully out into the hallway, looking down each side. "God dammit, I don't have time to deal with this shit (haha). I literally have 9 minutes left." You say, your sword flipping back into its rightful slot. You make your way back to the commons safely, but you have an odd feeling something's watching you. You ignore it.

Finally, you tell Rose there's 2 minutes left until the ball drops. You pull the mini drop thing out of your sylladex and you and the mayor set it up for take-off. Rose is pouring everyone glasses of champagne. Out of the corner of your eye you see Kanaya slathering on her black lipstick. You're sure everyone knows the rules (per Rose, apparently, she told everyone), and the majority is counting down from 60. Everyone is going a second faster, which bothers you, but you keep counting along. You get your champagne, and you look into the glass. Maybe... this isn't the best-looking champagne, but it'll make do you guess.

Karkat is standing next to you counting along. The Mayor, Terezi, Vriska, Kanaya, and Rose.

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...

It was like slow motion. Everyone shouted 1 and you all cheered. You clinked glasses with Karkat and chugged your drink. Terezi settled a lick on your nose, while Rose and Kanaya kissed you on the cheeks. Vriska punched your shoulder in affection, and the mayor pulled your arms down to kiss your cheek. You turned towards Karkat, in the midst of everyone kissing. He's smiling so hard. You find yourself smiling back with the same genuine grin. You placed your hands on his shoulders. Down you go.

It was quick. It was only 2.00009382000 seconds long. But in those 2 seconds, it was like a firework exploded in your chest. It wasn't butterflies in your stomach, it was moths. Deep black moths traveling through your small intestine through your throat and into your lips. His lips were soft and warm. 

Then, everything was back to normal after those 2 seconds. You pulled away, smiled so hard. No one else seemed to notice, but out of the corner of your eye, Rose had just finished sharing her kiss with Kanaya, and can see her beaming in your direction. You roll your eyes, even though she can't see them through your shades, and is immediately pulled into a group hug. Within the hug, you can see Karkat. And you're so happy.

For once, you're happy. 

* * *

 

_honk_

_Honk._

Honk.

**Honk.**

You turn in the hug. There he is. Towering over you all. His eyes are drooping and he has a dope grin on his face. He smells heavily of drugs. How the hell did he alchemize drugs? That's beside the point.

In his eyes, you can tell he is furious, but he keeps his face smiling.

You break away from the group and drop your sword. You hear Karkat take out his sickles and Vriska's sword scrape the ground. "I'm done with you already."

Vriska charges towards him and slices his arm. He groans, but his smile didn't falter. "None of you mother fuckers decided to invite me? Fine." 

He drops some... bowling pins? He swings towards Vriska and she jumps back, only to charge back. You can see Rose, running off. What the hell, Rose? Kanaya is ready, her chainsaw revved up.

Vriska and the juggalo charge back and forth. She ends up backing him up into a wall, her sword to his throat, threatening to just slice. He still has that stupid grin. You're backing Vriska up. You hear Rose talking, but you don't turn. 

"Terezi, you have to end this."

You feel a body pass you. Terezi walks up to Gamzee. (well, she's looking a little more towards Vriska, but she's blind, she doesn't know.) "Were done." 

Then Terezi turns into a fucking cowboy and ties Gamzee up like a pig in a rodeo. This whole situation would've been funny if the air wasn't so tense. Gamzee falls to the ground, and it feels as if the whole meteor shook. Vriska cackles and shoves a gag on him. You relax and turn. You rub your sweaty hands against your face. "God damn, Vriska, didn't you tie him up?" You ask, turning, and automatically see Vriska's celebratory smile turn to a frown. "He wasn't a threat until now. He's done. Or do you have a problem?" She asks slowly, a smirk turning on her face, while approaching you.

"Woah, woah woah woah woah, this is the New Year, I don't want to start off this year acting like a bunch of insufferable little wrigglers, now shut the everlasting fuck up!" Karkat finally kicks in. You had noticed how quiet he had been. 

You and Vriska split. You walk to go cleanup and Vriska and Terezi walks away, dragging Gamzee behind them.

You are washing the second load of dishes by yourself, Rose and Kanaya did the first half and has run off to do their own thing. You hear footsteps behind you and a tap on your shoulder. You turn to see Karkat. A light red is dusting his cheeks and you can tell that he’s trying to so hard not to smile. "Hey," He says lowly.

"Yo," You give him a small smile. Shit, this is awkward. You were hoping that after that shared kiss everyone would go back to their respective rooms and never talk to each other until they all forgot about it.

"So, um. The party. Was awesome. I really didn't know what to expect since we didn't do that kind of shit back on Alternia," He's quieter than usual. He's using his inside voice, you’re so proud of your young pupil.

"Yeah. And the champagne? That shit was just," You frown and put up the OK sign. There's a little silence where both of you are out of words and is just looking around. 

"I should, uh, go-"

"Can we talk?" He's looking at his fingers, which are picking his finger nails, but they still look sharp.

"Um." You told him, you don't talk. "Sure." God dammit!

"So, that thing that happened earlier that involved our lips..." He trailed off, not daring to look into my... shades.

"Pretty much! That thing I did with my lips that included your lips! I... Can we..." You blurt. Come on, you can do this. "Can we... can we do more of that?" You finish quietly. Your hands fly up to your mouth. Why did you cover your mouth? You’re an idiot. Such an idiot  _such an idiot **such an idiot**_

Karkat takes your hands from your mouth and intertwines them with his own. His hands are so warm, yet coarse. You  _swear_  that a corner of his mouth lifts, but you can't focus much anyways because he's leaning in. Just go for it just go for it shit shit  _shit shit **shit shit**_

You meet him halfway and slowly place your lips on his. Just like earlier, his lips are soft and warm, but you feel so much more. You can feel how perfectly imperfect his lips fit on top of yours, and suddenly you’re self-conscious. Are you lips chapped? Do you even put on chapstick? Of course you do, you're gay. Does your breath stink? Can he even smell your breath? You can't smell his, so that must be a good thing he probably can't smell yours. What were you even eating before- 

Karkat's hand navigation from your hand to your shoulder made your train of thought crash into a tree and all the passengers die. You have no idea what to do with your free hand, so you let your hand frantically shake against your side until you decide to put it on his waist. You crack an eye open and you see Karkat's face morph into confusion, but he continues to kiss you.

It feels like forever later until you both pull back. Your face is heated and Karkat's cheeks are deep red. You smile before leaning back into him.

Yeah, this was a good year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was probably the worst and slowest because first chapters of meteorstuck is always the same so
> 
>  
> 
> Also when Dave says "that would be gay" please don't get offended this is davekat this is GOING TO get gay so he's just homophobic (phobichomo, scared to BE homo I guess because of bro)

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I made it! If you didn't know this first came out as a multi chapter but then i combined everything into a huge one shot! it turned out girl and relationships were not rushed (hopefully)  
> also shout out to my editor microsoft word for spell checking my stuff, you da best  
> and lastly, sorry if the characters are OOC, and also thank you to those you stuck with my fanfics and dealing with my crap all the time. i love you guys ;-;
> 
> my tumblr is [trashy-dave](http://trashy-dave.tumblr.com/) !


End file.
